Psalm 18:16

Yesterday I learnt that it's okay to be vulnerable.

I've never had a defence mechanism implanted into me, but I struggled with allowing myself to be vulnerable before God. I wouldn't ever go up for prayer because I was thinking about what others thought of me, but also because I was scared of what God would do.
Before I came on the course, God really dealt with that, now I go up when I feel to, I don't care about what anyone else thinks. Except, I certainly forgot that it's okay to wear your heart on your sleeve, to put yourself on the line, really open up and be vulnerable, not just with God, but also people around me.

One of my good friends said to me, "Sometimes you have to say, 'Lord, my hope is in you, I trust you, I trust you will catch me if I fall and heal my pain'", then step out and be vulnerable.

So, from now on, I'm going to.

You see bones, I see an army

This week, there have been some incredible videos floating the internet. These things are beautiful, integral and a core understanding.

You're a Reformer



Jesus>Religion



That's my King



I would recommend taking time to watch and listen carefully, because they are wonderful and speak so much truth.

Home.

So I've been back for a week, and feel like I never left. The first time I've ever felt that and been happy about it. I hated leaving school for summer, going back and getting that feeling. But these people are my family, my flat mates are my best friends and I missed it all so much!

We got straight back into teaching with Ali, listening to some amazing talks from fellow Soul61's, then spent the weekend catching up with my housemates and Watford itself. Monday i had two of my best friends come and visit me for the day, (shout out to Jo and Sarah!) which we spend again, in Waford Harlequin, Nandos and the bathroom for bleaching of the hair!

This week has been incredible. We haven't had teaching, in note-taking form, for quite a while, because of talks, but on Tuesday we had Andy and lots of heavy theological teaching! Some amazing stuff was learnt!

In more serious, God-stuff news; on Monday night, we went to 'Interrupted Worship' at Soul Survivor, for a two hour worship session, where you're free to sing, dance, worship, soak, pray, kneel, sleep and dance. Last time we went, if I'm honest, I got really bored; I wasn't really in a great place to worship for two hours etc. You know the drill. But this time... wow.
I started by just saying to God, "Take me somewhere, show me something new, take me to paradise". Quickly, God told me, "Obey me and I will take you to paradise". Coool beans. Little did I know, I was going to look like a fool and a human yo-yo.
I was laying down at this point, purely for comfort, then God told me to stand, so I stood. He told me to sit, so I sat. he told me to kneel, so I knelt. He told me to lay, so I got down and laid prostate. He told me to kneel again, so I knelt. Then, He told me to give my jumper to Tim. I spent a very long time battling this... I would look like a wally, why does Tim need my jumper? He didn't, at all. But then, God reminded me o "obey Him, and He'll take me to paradise". So I did, reluctantly.
After I got back to my spot, I asked God why Tim needed my jumper, and He just said, "He doesn't, but you obeyed me". Now, God's told me to kneel before, or stand etc. But consecutively, one after the other, with 2 second intervals, I did look like a human yo-yo for about 10 minutes. However, God was testing my obedience, of which proved to be pretty good.
Thank goodness.

At the end of the meeting, God gave me Joshua 22:2, "You have obeyed every order I have given you". I laughed, out loud, like a proper wally. Yes I did! Thank you Lord. :)

Just a quick update.

Lots of love!
Leah
XXX

PS. No jumpers were harmed in this time of worship and prayer, I did receive it back. :)